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JJ’s Thoughts and Commentary

Better Than Judging?

People in our society spend a lot of energy judging and condemning others – often for the sin of being different. Look at gender identity and sexual attraction as an example. Have you heard people say: Should we expose our children to Chaz Bono on TV? If we accept same sex marriage, will everyone turn gay? Are gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders born that way or do they choose their “lifestyle.” Can they choose to be something else (or not act on it)? I looked it up in the Bible and found the place where it says that you are an abomination…

I am transgender and hid it for most of my life until the mid 2000’s, Questions and statements like those on the list above are interesting and might be worthy of scientific study. Humans always have curiosity about our nature. I also am curious about some similar things – Why are some people left-handed and others right-handed? Why do some people love chocolate and others don’t care for it? Why do some people crave sushi and others are grossed out by raw fish? Interesting questions. It may be good to know the answers. But, does it really matter?

I am for scientific research – learning the truth, but not for judging God, or the creator, or the universe, or the reason we are here and why we are the way we are. It took me over 50 years to figure out I needed to change genders. If it took me that long to figure out a very important part of me (my gender), I can’t hope to figure out what God was thinking when I was created. Or if you don’t believe in God, what were the causal factors that made me the way I am? 

A few other questions for me to ponder: Why am I 5’5” tall? Why do I have a weird sense of humor? Why is my hair blonde? Oh, wait, I know the answer to that one…

Perhaps we would appreciate others more if we attempted to Enjoy Diversity rather than trying to explain and judge it? By enjoying diversity, I have found that a lot of my gay friends are fun; I like to dance; I like Asian food (it’s not Italian, but it’s pretty good anyway. How many Sicilian/Italian women do you know that can make sushi and her favorite sushi chef is Mexican?); I have friends that were born in different countries; and one of my best friends is a Republican. How we can differ so greatly in basic political philosophy, but be good friends is beyond my understanding. We enjoy each other’s company; we like and support each other, and work to try to understand our seemingly irrational and inconsistent views. Agree or not, we are friends. It does not bother us when we don’t agree.

I am not saying that I like everything or everyone, but I am trying to enjoy everyone as much as I can, and I appreciate the differences as well as our similarities. It helps me learn and it is much more fun than judging and condemning. Oh, and have a sense of humor. It helps!

JJ Gufreda